The Mellen Patch: Adoption Camp

When the challenges started to rise this spring, our first step was to begin therapy. We decided to use another therapist from Sand Castle Counseling, because we’ve been so happy with the care there. It’s been helpful and she’s taught us about “time-ins” which were new to us, and many other useful strategies. But we still felt we needed more and were asking around about support groups when the idea of camp was suggested. In a miracle of timing, it just so happened to be the week we were already off due to Jess’s summer vacation, so it fit almost perfectly, and we were able to make it work.

We went to Adoption week at Family Camp Hebron for 5 days and everyone in our group, of probably about 40 families, has adopted. There were folks with 9 kids and folks with one, bio sibs, domestic, international, interracial and all ages. Everyone was Christian, since it was a Christ focused camp and camp week, co-led by Bethany Christian Services and Pastor Ryan Keith from Mechanicsburg Free Church. His life’s work has been dedicated to serving orphans all over the world, so he brought a special perspective and inspiration to the week.

The mission of Camp Hebron is to bring people together with God in nature and that was most certainly accomplished!

Our week was perfect from a weather standpoint, 80 or so during the day and under 60 at night, which was awesome for those of us in a tent!! Most of the other campers were on campus in the dorms or cabins, but we enjoyed adding camping to the adventure of the week. The Counselors were amazing too — Joseph won their hearts within minutes with his Star Wars impressions, Alex with his inspiring spirit, Jo and Becca with their outdoorsy and athletic prowess.

Each day was organized the same:

Breakfast via buffet in the cafeteria
Family worship where we learned the words and moves to Wake Up Sleeper by Austin French
Age Groups where a social worker from Bethany paired up with a camp counselor and took the kids; each were in a group with about 3-4 other kids their age while the parents hung back in the worship room with Pastor Ryan to be inspired by how God guides, calms, and restores us for the hard work of raising adopted kids.
Break - we almost always played our new favorite game “carpetball” during down time, or sometimes ran/biked/walked back and forth to the campsite to pick up something we’d forgotten.
Lunch (cue the raising grateful kids in an entitled world here; most of us had to stretch ourselves eating out of our comfort zone)
Activities, these could something like lake or pool time, or something really special, like Shaving cream battle, Slip n Slide, Rocket Launches, Tie Dye, Climbing Wall, Low challenge Course, etc. We also did a canoe ride and hiked Peters Mountain (just me & Lukas) before breakfast 2 mornings.
Educational Sessions put on by Bethany Christian Services social work team who were present all week but actually taught us about de-escalation and trauma-informed care for our kiddos.
Worship
Dinner
Activities - sometimes we were too tired for any of these and other times Lukas stayed up/out to play things like Gold Rush. In future years when the kids are older there’s open gym until 10pm. We did go back and enjoy a few campfires during this time too.

Some of the most valuable minutes of the week came during the adult time with Pastor Ryan, as he went through basically a mini sermon series where he sought to re-posture us. He challenged us to reflect on what it is that restores us, calms us and delights us. Through the lessons, we were reminded to count it as joy when we get to do what restores us. He repeatedly pointed to scriptures about how rest was ordained by God over and over again throughout the scriptures.

Pastor Ryan gave it to us straight; although there are people all over the world doing hard things (like us), they can’t do it well without regular rest and restoration. There’s no promise that this will eventually get easier. The old "God won’t give you more than you can handle" myth was debunked. Yes, this journey is too great for us, which is why we need God with us…. His power is made perfect in our weakness. The Pastor's goal was to equip us by directing us back to our source of hope, our living well.

Pastor Ryan encouraged us not to pray that x condition would go away, but that we be restored; that God might guide us to still waters for rest. He also encouraged us to listen and obey; lamenting that full obedience is the only option. This listening is, of course, easier during a week like camp, where there are fewer distractions. He reminded us that when we returned home there would be so many other voices telling us what to do; but if we focus on God and set aside time to listen, we can get more of that clarity we’re longing for.

The entire experience at Camp Hebron was designed to connect our family to one another and Pastor Ryan challenged us to think about what delights us about our kids. We need to focus on this, water this, let this thrive, so we can also have strength for the times that drain us and try to pull us apart - which are inevitable too.

Our final goal for Camp Hebron was connection with other families like ours and this too was accomplished! Although there were certainly people who we gravitated to more than others, there was no one who's situation seemed dissimilar to ours. For the first time in a long time, our family was just like everyone else's! As Pastor Ryan artfully stated, we could just "be;" rather than "appear to be."

Every adult we spoke to shared times where they felt like they were struggling to connect with their kids, everyone had publicly embarrassing moments that left them feeling different and alone from the majority back home. Just like us, all the other moms and dads seemed hungry for community. Although our kids have never expressly asked to meet other adopted kids, they too made friends faster than usual given the intimacy of the environment. The racial diversity also enhanced our time and learning at camp. We exchanged numbers with several couples and promised the kids playdates in the near future.

In short, we left Camp Hebron with a complete spiritual fill up and are beyond thankful for the blessings of the week. We pray they continue to impact us for weeks and months to come and that we're able to build on what we've learned here so that everyone in the family can thrive.

"Low challenge course" - just Lukas and I did this one and were a little disappointed it wasn't more similiar to the "high challenge" aka Ropes course. He'll be old enough for the high challenge course next year if we go back!