Most of what happened in the days following my most recent blog are a bit too personal to print but suffice it to say that they were rich. Full of emotion, deep love and deep loss. Both perfect and painful.
This seems like an appropriate time to again remember the story about the Man in the Arena, written by Theodore Roosevelt and explored more deeply by Brene Brown, and also by me (see link).
So, fast forward to Tuesday, when my newest four-year-old and I headed across the country via plane. In the airport, he was excited to see the planes, and watch people loading the baggage onto them. He mistook every blonde woman for his aunt whom we'd just left. In the plane itself, he turned a number of heads squealing, "it's going to go fast!" And then he settled in like the resilient toddler he is, asking for snack after snack and screen time. We managed to make it to BWI a bit early and then had a painstaking wait at baggage claim of over an hour. This put us home after 10pm but everyone stayed up awaiting our arrival.
What ensued after that was some of the funniest and cutest things I'd seen in a while. The boys were very happy to meet their new brother and show him every room, and some favorite toys. Jayden was excited too but everyone was exhausted. He had napped on the 90-minute drive from the airport to home so we played a bit after we put the others to bed. Sometime just before midnight, we put him down in his new bed and he didn't seem scared at all. He slept through the night and everyone awoke around 7 the next day.
Since then, it's been as normal as normal can be. There's a lot that we don't know about each other and this comes up in a variety of little ways. However, nothing has been a big barrier. We're just talking through things, being sure to give an extra thorough and repetitive explanation and it seems to be working.
For the first twenty-four hours, the boys gave a LOT of grace. So much so, that Mike and I got to "meet" the Nicholas that Mrs. Kelly sees everyday. Oh, he IS a joy! ;) and it was quite darling to see that side of him. Around about thirty-six hours, the newness had worn off and the older Pfeiffer boys were back to their usual selves. Which is, admittedly, pretty generous, kind and charming, but Still.
Since that first day, that balance of power has had many rocky moments and that's really the point of my being home right now, there is just a lot of fine detail to the integration of a family and it is going to take some time. We knew this, it's why we planned for it the way we have and I'm game for a few months of completely focused and intentional parenting.
Jayden has quickly learned where breakfast and dinner are served, and that after dinner you have to help clear your plates. He and Jacob fight daily to feed the dogs and he also likes to walk them. Jayden is also learning about story time before bed while everybody else is learning to be patient.
We've learned that Jayden is easily the best eater under 20 in our household, he has liked and eaten everything I've served, except brussel sprouts since moving here. And he's also making a run for the most friendly. He loves to talk to strangers (on second thought, there are quite a few Pfeiffer's who are that friendly!) "HI!, What's your name?," he asks just about everybody while we are in line to drop off or pick up any of his brothers from school; which is how we spend a good bit of our time these days. And when we're at DP, he's always trying to dart past Mrs. G and get into the building, but I tell him not this week buddy, next week. He loves going to playgrounds and today we went to the Bullfrog Valley duck pond which was really beautiful. There was a dusting of snow to top it all off. Whenever we're out, if we see a dog, he needs to know their name and wants to pet them.
Nobody in this house really likes to share, and that's certainly the place where most battles begin. But, everybody is learning and working on it. Having Nick's birthday literally the day after Jayden arrived has probably complicated things in that regard a bit and the gift giving already feels out of control! It's wonderful and we're thankful for everyone's generosity but dang it is hard to raise grateful kids.
He already sings the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle many times a day, and really likes to play piano. He also has enjoyed the trumpet and tells me to turn the music up loud in the car. He doesn't seem to know his numbers or letters by sight or sound yet but he does know all his colors and shapes. Pat and Bob had told us Jayden was "busy," and now we know what that means! Jayden moves very quickly from activity to activity but he did sit still for the entirety of Mrs. Pat's Advent Sunday school class last Sunday which was a true joy. Which reminds me of the outpouring of kindness we have received from her, Joy and the Meade family, as well as our adult Sunday school class!!
Yes! We are all learning new things, and loving it. I cannot wait to see all the ways in which we grow.
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