In Loving Memory

(this blog was originally written on 6/1/21 and is just being published on 1/4/22) 

I thought I’d start this blog with a quick shout out to the people who helped us balance the child care challenges during Moms hospitalization and funeral.  Kristin & Ryan Brown took all four boys on Sunday, which gave them seven in all to wrangle! Then Mom/Grandma Estevez came up, and stepped up, in all the best and necessary ways to help keep me balanced while working and going back and forth to be with Mike and his family. Not an article of clothing or dish was left unwashed, and the boys got baths, piano, stories and loads of unwavering support during this stressful time. After the funeral, Pop stayed and also was a huge help and also got to enjoy the first creek fishing and crayfish capture.   

I saved the pictures from Easter for this blog because of the fact that it was so clearly ordained by God.  While we all have had moments where we wished God would have let us write this story a different way, there have been countless more moments where His hand was visible.  He authored a beautiful story where we came home early from the beach, Matt and Jennie's closing on their house was delayed, and we were all able to gather together.   The memories that will live long from that day are all of us in the backyard playing games of chase and ball, while Jeannette delighted in her grandchildren. 

Soon after, Jeannette's church family had this sign posted in her yard to uplift and bless her:

Not long after that, Mom's condition got worse; she was briefly hospitalized and then came home on hospice.  Surrounded by those who loved her most, she passed away peacefully at home.  The family, and truly the whole community were deeply saddened.  Ultimately, however, her funeral was a true celebration of a life well lived.  

Testimonies to her impact on other came through an outpouring of cards, texts, calls, flowers, plants, meals, and so many genuine and special stories of memories with Jeannette - her quiet, deep and brave faith, her steadfast commitment to youth, her spunky personality, delicious donuts and her unconditional love.  

1/4/22

I've considered publishing this blog several times since it was written but wanted to incorporate the beautiful eulogies for commemoration and the timing just didn't seem right. 

As the year drew to a close and I pondered writing a Christmas letter, it was hard to imagine the right words to describe this most difficult year.  Our family has been through so much, with the sudden recurrence and rapid progression of Mom's cancer, in addition to adding an extra boy, plus the pandemic and ultimately my choice to step down at work.  These situations have challenged us tremendously.  And as we remarked briefly on the Christmas card, Jeannette was a compass - directionally pointing, nudging and encouraging us in the right way for our journey; and she was a confidant - a great listener, someone you could always count on for empathy and a hug.  When parenting got tough, she knew how to be supportive and she inspired us to stay focused on God as a way through those tough times.  Mike and I have both missed her tremendously in the past several months, longing for that soft place to land after a day that's felt like a rollercoaster. 

What's amazing, though, is that she continues to inspire us even from the grave, to be better versions of ourselves.  We found ourselves trying to listen like her during some recent conversations and although we may have fallen short of her patience or empathy, we later marveled at how she could still be impacting us for the better, even when she isn't physically with us.  For this and so many reasons, our faith remains steadfast.  

We're thankful, like the song says, that the only scars in heaven are on the hands that hold her now.  

Obituary: 

YORK- Jeannette L. (Wintrode) Pfeiffer, 67, passed away Tuesday, April 27, 2021 at home surrounded by her family.  She was the wife of Paul E. Pfeiffer, Jr.  The couple celebrated their 43^rd wedding anniversary on August 13, 2020. 

A celebration of life service will be held at 1:30 p.m. on Monday, May 3, 2021 at Zion United Methodist Church, 1030 Carlisle Ave. in York, with a viewing from 12:30 – 1:30 p.m.  The service can also be viewed starting at about 1:30 p.m. at www.facebook.com/heffnertributes/live  Her pastor, the Reverend Jeffrey K. Welsch will be officiating at the service.  There will be a viewing from 1-3p.m. on Sunday, May 2,2021 at Heffner Funeral Chapel & Crematory, Inc.  Burial will be in Susquehanna Memorial Gardens in York.

Jeannette was born in Hanover on May 7, 1953, the daughter of the late Richard and Kathleen (Schaffer) Wintrode.  She retired after 30 years working in the West York School District teaching Kindergarten, 4^th Grade, and more than 20 years working with young adults in In-School Suspension.

Jeannette was a member of Zion United Methodist Church, where she taught Sunday school and led Youth Fellowship for over 40 years.  She also enjoyed singing in the church choir.  She was an avid camper and treasured spending time with her family.  Her gift of hospitality was on constant display, most notably with loaves of Muffin Bread, countless cookies, Monkey bread, and with homemade donuts on Fastnacht Day where her home was regularly open to all family and friends.

Along with her husband Paul, Jeannette leaves two sons, Michael Pfeiffer and his wife MaryEllen and Matthew Pfeiffer and his wife Jennifer; a daughter, Jessica Pfeiffer and her significant other, Chad Heist; two brothers, Dwight and Gary Wintrode; and seven grandchildren: Lukas, Nicholas, Jacob, Jayden, Grayson, Keira, and Caylee.

Memorial contributions may be made to Cancer Patient Help Fund, York Health Foundation 2500 S. George St. York PA 17403 or https://www.wellspan.org/about/philanthropy/wellspan-york-health-foundation/donate.  This fund assists those diagnosed with cancer who require financial assistance.  Please include Jeannette’s name in your contribution.

Words from Cory Heikes: 

God, please use me to show love to others. 

Help me to really listen to the people in my life, 

to tell them the truth with love, 

and to find creative ways to serve them.  

I want the people I meet to see Jesus in me.  

In Jesus' name, Amen.  

Words from Michael: 

It’s not possible for us to fully encapsulate Mom.  It has been an incredible blessing to hear from so many people about the innumerable ways she touched and influenced lives – often changing trajectories by just a degree or two, resulting in big downstream effects.  She steered people towards God by sharing His love.  Honestly, I’ve always known Mom was special, I think it’s hard to miss.  But it’s been a bit overwhelming, in a good way, to hear just how special she was to so many of you.  It’s like finding out your parent was famous, and you’ve simply spent your life with the unassuming privilege of calling her Mom.  

So, what do we kids share from our 35-40 years of having the all-access pass to Jeannette Pfeiffer?  Well, as I thought about it, two things seemed obvious.  First, our Mom really was the same to everyone she met – it didn’t matter if you were her kid, her kid’s friend, her friend, her family, a kid in school, a person at church, or a total stranger.  If you knew her from brief encounters or long-standing relationships, from Sunday School, Youth Fellowship, Fastnacht Day, Pizza Lunch, Monroe St, Altland Ave, or the West York In-School Suspension Room… you saw and received the same kindness and love (and occasional stern correction) that we got at home.  I can only think of one thing we got, that none of you had access to… the raised eyebrow question, “Didn’t I raise you better?!?”  (The answer was and will always be, yes Mom, you did).  And second, it stands out to me that Mom had one piece of advice that underpinned everything else she taught us.  It was generally provided to us in the form of these questions:  “Have you prayed about it?” “Have you given it to God?”

I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting over the past week.  In truth, I have struggled over the last two years with the sense of unfairness in Mom’s cancer diagnosis.  I think our entire family has had these moments.  In those 2 years, our family faced it together – we did pray about it, we did our best to give it to God.  We were led by both of our parents.  

Most recently, during some of the still, quiet, emotional moments trying to wrap my head around this loss, Mom’s words rang in my ears again… “Have you prayed about it?” “Have you given it to God?” Yes Mom, we have.  It does not remove the grief, but in doing this, God has shown us so many moments where He was obvious over the past two years and the past two weeks.  Perhaps most importantly making sure me, Jessica, and Matthew were all present with her and Dad last Saturday.  

In some of my final moments with Mom I spoke to her about what I think her greatest influence on me has been.  Like many of you, I have seen God in her.  And by seeing God in her, I have learned to see God in other people and in all circumstances.  I will always strive to be more like her, to see God in all things and live a life that shows God to others.

This is what Mom taught us… Pray about it, Give it to God, then look for Him in all things.  When life is great, pray about it and give it to God.  God is there when life is great.  When life is not great, pray about it and give it to God.  God is there when life is not great too. 

God is Good and God is Present in all things.  We know because our Mom taught us that.